god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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