im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
