So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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