Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize