Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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