If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
