Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
