You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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