What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
