I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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