Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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