i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
