glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
