it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
