just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
