Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A bitchslap is in order.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
