I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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