Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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