It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I will pee on everything he values.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
