I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
