I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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