Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
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