I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
