The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
