Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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