don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
They took my balls.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
