Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
