Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
