community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
