Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
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He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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