Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
