i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
