If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
