question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
