Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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