I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
