I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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