there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
