well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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