Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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