dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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