awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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