So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
