I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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