Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
