You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
