if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
