The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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