friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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