so explain again why im purple
no
I cockslap morals
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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