Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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