Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
