I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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