You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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