We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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