On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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