i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
