You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he puts the penis in happiness.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
