But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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