We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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