I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
