I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
