he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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