There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
