I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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