: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
im on a boat
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