hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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